Welcome to Davetopia

Imagine a world where everyone exists happily.  Healthcare is provided, guns are banned, motorway middle lane drivers are shot. Peace rules throughout the land.

This is “Davetopia”.  An promised land where common sense laws are in place to give everyone an awesome life.  It’s not too dissimilar to life in the UK, but with some additional and always review-able laws.

You may have guessed that I will be the self appointed leader of Davetopia. I’m not an unreasonable man.  I will listen to the people, and certainly not run a corrupt government.  In fact, the only thing I’ll fiddle my expenses for is to buy the latest FIFA football game. “Sundries – £49.00” (as at time of publication).

Law 20160331 – Boy racers

All vehicles should not exceed a certain noise level.  This law is aimed at boy racers who annoyingly wake whole neighbourhoods up by tearing round the streets at all times of night, or just revving their custom exhausts on their Vauxhall Corsas.

Penalty for breaking Law 20160331 – death.

Law 20181211 – Middle lane drivers

Drivers on the motorways who do not pull over to the left hand lane after overtaking – will be sniped from bridges.

Special armed forces will be stationed at all motorway bridges looking to enforce the pull over rules of the Highway code. Those individual vehicles who do not adhere to the rule will be targeted and shot.

As a government we do envisage an initial period of “collateral damage” during the the first few weeks of the introduction of this law. We strongly believe that the plague of middle lane hoggers will however quickly dissipate after the introduction of the law enforcement.

Penalty for breaking Law 20181211 – probable death.

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